There is no such thing as just a cat!
As a toddler, growing up on my Grandparents farm in norther Missouri, one would expect, as most farms have... barn cats to keep various things away.
I have heard different stories about me with cats, even as an infant,
my first memory is walking to the barn with my Grandmother to feed the cats. She would have upwards of 20 at a time when I was a kid.
When I would visit, I would spend hours at the barn just sitting with the cats. I had no siblings, or anyone to play with. To me, those kitties were my friends.
I believe the cartoon version of Garfield and friends aired in 1988, and the first episode that Nermal, "the cutest kitty in the world" aired shortly there after. (FYI: Nermal is a BOY cat, I own the comics.. look it up!) In 1988 that would make me 5 years old, waking up to watch Saturday morning cartoons that featured cats! I was always drawn to the cute fluffy gray Nermal cat on the cartoon. I was disappointed when Nermal only had a cameo (as a Siamese) in the Garfield movie.
I was born a cat lady! I would constantly beg my parents for a cat. People would purchase me stuffed cats, or figurines for my bedroom, it just didn't suffice.
My parents bought me fish, rabbits, and hamsters.. OH MY! It just wasn't the same as a cat.
When I was about 7 my Grandma without the farm moved in with her cat Sooner. A fat striped nub tail cat, you could imagine my joy!
He would sit on the side of the bath tub, and bat at the bubbles when I was in there. One time he fell in, and to get me back... he ran across my bed with his wet paws. I didn't even get mad when he chewed up the hand on my brown haired barbie!
To this day, I have never slept all the way through the night. A few years ago, my Mother mentioned I had been that way since birth. When Sooner lived with us, I would get up in the night and just sit with him on the couch. Often staring at him like a creepy little kid! I felt weirdly drawn to that cat. Naturally my Grandma moved out, into her own place and took Sooner with her.
Shortly there after we moved as well. I remember being in the fourth grade, and crying to the librarian that I had already read all the books about cats the library offered.
I was a kid who bought anything with cats on it. That was the days before Hello Kitty made a come back only to become overwhelmingly popular. For me Garfield was where it was at! If I found Garfield with Nermal on it... that was the JACKPOT! As an adult, I have even purchased a few Nermal things at antique shops!
I continued to bug the heck out of my parents for a cat throughout my teenage years. I even tried to convince various boyfriends to buy me a cat... If it was a gift, they had to let me keep it right?! Had my parents said, "Jayde, forget the 1988 Chevy Corsica we are handing down to you for your 16th birthday... we are buying you a cat instead." I would have been elated to take the bus!
Fast forward to 2003, recently graduated from barber college, searching for an apartment that allowed animals, lets face it.. we all know where this is going. I moved into a brand new apartment complex. I had the cutest 900sq ft one bedroom apartment with the stairs inside the apartment. The first thing I bought for my apartment was.... A CAT!
My then boyfriend, now Ex husband and I went to the local shelter. Some cats were in cages, some were free range. All I knew was, I wanted a gray male cat to name Nermal.
On my search, I noticed a little cat poking his arm out if his cage and yelling at me to come over, I pet his head and his meows turned to purrs. I said, "okay little kitty, I'm going to look around." Every time I turned to walk away, he would yell at me very loudly. I grabbed an associate and asked what the gender was. He was a healthy 10 week old male gray kitten... I finally had my Nermal!!
I continued to bug the heck out of my parents for a cat throughout my teenage years. I even tried to convince various boyfriends to buy me a cat... If it was a gift, they had to let me keep it right?! Had my parents said, "Jayde, forget the 1988 Chevy Corsica we are handing down to you for your 16th birthday... we are buying you a cat instead." I would have been elated to take the bus!
Fast forward to 2003, recently graduated from barber college, searching for an apartment that allowed animals, lets face it.. we all know where this is going. I moved into a brand new apartment complex. I had the cutest 900sq ft one bedroom apartment with the stairs inside the apartment. The first thing I bought for my apartment was.... A CAT!
My then boyfriend, now Ex husband and I went to the local shelter. Some cats were in cages, some were free range. All I knew was, I wanted a gray male cat to name Nermal.
On my search, I noticed a little cat poking his arm out if his cage and yelling at me to come over, I pet his head and his meows turned to purrs. I said, "okay little kitty, I'm going to look around." Every time I turned to walk away, he would yell at me very loudly. I grabbed an associate and asked what the gender was. He was a healthy 10 week old male gray kitten... I finally had my Nermal!!
The perfect accessory to my new apartment. My good friend Valerie moved in two apartments down, at times we would visit her, she is is "Auntie Val" even now.
The funny thing is... I almost took him back to the shelter, As a 20 year old living on her own, I wanted to sleep in on the weekends. While Nermal knew. "lets go night nights." he certainly didn't understand the concept of let's sleep in. He snored from day one, and with his rambunctious kitten energy, would run around and use my body as a speed bump in the morning time.
I had a yellow ball of yarn, I came home from work one day only to find the yarn woven around my kitchen table legs and chairs, then strung across the room and woven through the legs of my coffee table. As funny as it was, for a brief moment I thought... having a cat may be too much responsibility.
I am so grateful I toughed it out through those kitten years. I was gifted a wild cat against my will, as much as I fought it Siera AKA Seebs became my second cat.
Nermal had companions, but he preferred people. In my early 20's, I had many parties, with many people. Nermal was never afraid, he roamed around and met people. I imagined him saying, "hi, I'm Nermal, welcome to my house." After all every cat owner knows, It's really the cats house. 
When I got I got a cat, I knew I would have something to love, take care of, and teach things to. What I didn't know was, how much he would love me, take care of me, and teach me so many things about love and life.
I call him the love of my life. I have never loved anything, or anyone the way I love Nermal.
In the past 12 years, I have grown and changed, countless people have come, gone and given up on me. Nermal has NEVER given up on me no matter what. 
If I trip and fall, Nermal comes running to check on me.
If I acceidently hurt myself and squeal, Nermal comes running to check on me. If i get up from the couch to get a drink, he follows me. He is always there for me, no matter what. Through all the years, the only thing that was never given up on me or abandoned me is Nermal.
The people around me can see, Nermal really is my best friend. He and I have this connection that you would only understand if you have, had an animal you've connected with. We anticipate each others needs, and when I look at him, as crazy as it sounds... It's like he can see inside my soul.
December of 2014 at the age of 11 Nermal was diagnosed with congestive heart failure due to heart disease, and given 6 months to live.
I always imagined he would live to be at least 20, he would get to meet my human children one day, He has lived much longer than expected. 8 months longer to be exact. I have been extremely diligent with his medicine. 5 am and 5 pm every day he takes pills. twice a week he receives fluids. and every 3 months he goes to the doctor for a radio-graph and check up.
I recently noticed he was having intense abdominal breathing. I had a full day at my job, while someone very close to us had a day off, she offered to take him to the vet. She called me every step of the way, I felt if I couldn't be there Cassidy AKA "Momma Cass" was the next best thing.
At his last check up 2 weeks ago, I got the feeling we were nearing the end. Cassidy took him to the Dr. he had A lot of fluid built up in his chest cavity. As a cat mom who doubles as a hair- stylist... I can't help but cringe when I see his hair cuts. 
While at the vet office, they discovered in addition to his heart conditions, Nermal may also have lymphoma. They sent is blood, and fluids off to be tested. The results were in today, they have not called me with them, nor have I called them. I am terrified of the results. In my heart, I already know the answer.
My heart aches terribly, I can't give up on this cat. he has never given up on me.
As I sit here typing this out, he lays beside me so peacefully tears are streaming down my face. I fear the end is closer than I am ready for. I will never be the same without him.
I don't even know how I will function in daily life without him by my side. He knows all my secrets, and he has been here through everything. knowing he's sick makes it hard for me to function.
I am 33 years old. I have 4 sets of Grandparents who are all still living. My parents have always hid death from me. I lost my best friend to suicide when I was 17, teenagers are resilient, and tend to band together, that being the only death I have really experienced this one is difficult.
In my 30's my heart is much more soft and sensitive, I find myself being more empathetic and caring. the death of my cat whom is my child, may just break me down to nothing.
So no there is no such thing as just a cat. Nermal isn't a cat, he's my companion, my best friend, the love of my life, and above all...
a 5 year old little girls dream come true.
